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The San Francisco Giants Can Still Win the 2017 World Series

Nick San Miguel
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - OCTOBER 4: Three of the San Francisco Giants World Series trophies sit on display during a retirement ceremony for pitcher Jeremy Affeldt
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - OCTOBER 4: Three of the San Francisco Giants World Series trophies sit on display during a retirement ceremony for pitcher Jeremy Affeldt /
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You read that right. There’s no typo, no derangement — just mass conspiracy. There’s been a lot of talk this baseball season, what with record breaking home run numbers, that the ball is juiced.

No, no, not that the sacks are juiced; although that did come out of Bob Costas’ mouth for some reason.

Well, let’s say that Rob Manfred, being a relatively new commissioner, wants to really crack down on PED usage. Then things could get . . . interesting.

Awards have been revoked before. Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles for doping. Reggie Bush was forced to give back his Heisman.

So it’s not as if this would be completely unprecedented.

I’ll be honest, the fact that the Dodgers are three games away from winning the World Series is making me a bit . . . loopy.

Plus, the JFK assassination files are being released. So I’ve got conspiracy fever.

Listen, I think we all can agree that all of these home runs are a little bit fishy. Something doesn’t smell right.

I don’t think that “launch angle” is a sufficient enough excuse for guys that I remember being lucky to scrape double-digit home runs out of a season that easily hit 20-something of them this year.

Let’s just say that it comes out this off-season that at least one player on every team in the league is caught taking horse tranquilizers or whatever new PED fad that is the true meaning of “launch angle,” except for the good ole Giants.

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It makes sense. They only had 128 homers this year. The next closest team was the Pirates with 151.

What would Manfred do? Would he shrivel up like a prune and let the Dodgers/Astros (even though I’ve been saying since July that the Dodgers will win the whole thing, not the boldest of predictions, I know) take home the trophy?

Or does he take a stand? A stand against PEDs that will reverberate throughout time, making the 1919 White Sox look like a bunch of saints.

If the man had any backbone whatsoever, he’d rip that trophy from Yasiel Puig’s mouth (over/under on the number of times he licks the trophy if they win is currently at six) and give it to the only team that didn’t cheat.

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Now sure, this is all outlandish, conspiratorial, useless jargon. And trust me, I’m well aware of the irony of a San Francisco Giants fan morally preening about PED usage. But it’s fun to dream!

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