In case you missed it, two players on the San Francisco Giants committed heresy by insinuating Bruce Bochy isn’t doing a good job, according to a report by the San Francisco Chronicle.
When I first read this, I broke out into full on Oedipus, “What say you? Does doth treachery dare bequeath my ears!” That’s something Oedipus or MacBeth or someone in some play said probably.
Anyway, what low life piece of scum dares to question Bruce Bochy. It’s bad enough that fans are doing it, now the players?
In case you haven’t read the article, two anonymous Giants (anonymous due to the sensitivity of the topic) said that Bochy has been more negative the last two years.
Aw, poor you, your baseball manager isn’t being nice to you, awwwwwwwwwwww. If you, like I, thought, ‘Huh, maybe that’s because since the second half of last year you’ve done nothing but lose,’ these mysterious conspirators said this dates back to the first half of 2016.
Look, I’m not in the Giants’ dugout. I have no idea what’s going on in that clubhouse. But if my gut tells me anything, it’s that losing isn’t the best thing for team chemistry.
That being said, whichever gutless cowards said this about Bochy needs to come forward immediately to be tried for heresy.
I mean, who said this horse excrement? I’m immediately excluding any players that were part of any of the World Series runs, for they ought to know better than to criticize the best manager in the major leagues.
I’ll leave out rookies as well, because I’m sure they know better than to do something this treacherous in their first season.
So who does that leave? The article said that Bochy’s negativity has persisted mainly in the dugout. Who spends the most time in the dugout? Bullpen, starters on off days, and benchwarmers.
I have nothing to back up these claims, but I’m just going to wildly speculate. So bear with me. Let us start with the bullpen.
Josh Osich: I’ve never liked Osich. He basically had the role of late inning left-hander handed to him after Jeremy Affeldt retired. He’s not very good at his job, so it’s likely that Bochy hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows when he’s talked to him.
Hunter Strickland: He got the save in the 18 inning NLDS game, which is the only positive thing he’s done for this franchise. I hope Bochy gave him a stern talking to after he plunked Harper. Perhaps that’s why he’s sore towards Boch.
Cory Gearrin: Maybe. No clue to be honest.
Derek Law: Perhaps he has some ill will towards Boch after demoting him. Yet, how could you hold that against him when you’re simply awful for a stretch of time?
How about starters on their off days.
Matt Moore: Wasn’t on the Giants during first half of 2016. Plus, with his performance this year if he complained about anything at all, he should be tried for heresy. Let’s hope he knows better.
Jeff Samardzija: Doesn’t seem like a complainer, I think he’s innocent.
Johnny Cueto: Nah.
How about the benchwarmers/starters.
Kelby Tomlinson: It’d break my heart if it were so. Kelby seems like a good kid, I mean he’s got glasses. Therefore, he must be smart enough to know that complaining about Bochy is a really stupid thing to do.
Denard Span: The only other non-championship guy I could think of that’s been in the clubhouse since the start of 2016. I doubt it. Span seems like a good dude. Also, he’s a veteran, so he knows better.
As you can see, I have about as good of an idea as you do when it comes to the culprit of this crime. If we’re playing Clue: San Francisco Giants Edition, I’ll say it was Osich in the dining room with a dumbbell. And Strickland as an accomplice.
However, I can’t be sure. We as San Francisco Giants fans want … nay, demand that the perpetrators in this matter are brought to justice — by any means necessary.
Let us propose the AT&T Park Witch Trials. The culprit must be sniffed out and stand before a court of law. If found guilty, you are sentenced to a cage match with Lou Seal. Then, if you lose that, you’re released from the team. Giants justice will be served.