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San Francisco Giants: Blame Taylor Swift for the Giants struggles

By Daniel Sperry
Oct 22, 2016; Austin, TX, USA; Recording artist Taylor Swift performs for her fans after the qualifying session for the United States Grand Prix at Circuit of the Americas. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 22, 2016; Austin, TX, USA; Recording artist Taylor Swift performs for her fans after the qualifying session for the United States Grand Prix at Circuit of the Americas. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports /
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Good things happened for the San Francisco Giants every year that Taylor Swift released a new album. Guess who didn’t release one last season?

In 2006 Taylor Swift released her first album, and the San Francisco Giants drafted Tim Lincecum. At first glance, that means nothing. But then you look to 2008.

Taylor Swift releases her sophomore album, Fearless. Would you like to guess who was drafted that season? Oh that’s right, it was Buster Posey. Hmmm. So we know have two instances on record of Taylor Swift releasing a brand new album, and good things happening for the Giants. Coincidence? At the time, I would’ve thought nothing of it. But let’s jump forward to 2010.

In 2010, Taylor Swift releases album number three, Speak Now. Of course you can now begin to draw conclusions. Is there some karma induced response from the Giants based on the release of Taylor Swift albums?

While three times starts to raise an eyebrow, it still isn’t a full-fledged conspiracy theory. But take into account that her fourth album, Red (2012), and her fifth album, 1989 (2014), all were released in years that the Giants won a world series there is some serious connections here folks.

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Taylor Swift broke her string of even-year album releases last season, and the Giants broke their own streak of even year World Series wins. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

It’s completely obvious to me that “T-Swizzy” and her album releases go hand in hand with the Giants success. I mean, how else can you explain the Giants’ current issues? Madison Bumgarner is out with an injury he brought on himself, the Giants haven’t started a game with their first choice outfield all together in one game, and Johnny Cueto is pitching through blisters, it’s all gone mad! Heck, not to mention the fact that they’ve been forced to play Gorkys Hernandez in almost 90% of their games this year, and even had to bat Aaron Hill clean-up. They should be better than this, even with all the other crap going on, RIGHT?!!!!!!*

Clearly, it has something to do with the fact that Taylor Swift hasn’t released an album since they won the World Series in 2014. There is no logical explanation to the Giants’ futility other than that.

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Look, I know there are some real, hard, factual evidences as to what’s gone wrong with the Giants, but I just can’t seem to draw any conclusions as to why things are going wrong, other than Taylor Swift not releasing an album. Maybe she’ll get her act together and produce a new one this year. If not, the Giants are likely in for it until she releases a brand new one. Seriously, this girl has some crazy voodoo magic over the Giants.

*This is complete sarcasm, and it’s a shame that this sentence I’m right, right here, the one you’re reading, has to tell you it is.

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