San Francisco Giants to Pablo Sandoval: Thanks for the memories

Pablo Sandoval, like Cody Ross, will always be thought of as a hero in San Francisco, regardless of his decision to leave the San Francisco Giants, and join the Boston Red Sox. At this time no one has a clear understanding as to why Sandoval took the money and ran, to a place where the fans can be as cold as the weather, when he could have stayed, had all of that money, and never had to worry about being anything but adored.

Considering Sandoval is heading to a town where fans were known to boo Ted Williams, that’s quite impressive.

The Panda left a venue where the fans did not care whether he hit towering home runs, or was mired in a deep hitting funk, as long as they had the pleasure of watching him flail away, with the chance of making something happen. They even cheered his foul balls.

The truth of the matter is, though, that Pablo is like your brother-in-law, who is fun to be around, but not necessarily the role model you had in mind for your kids. There was just simply too much of Pablo to love, to feel as though he were going to be around for any great length of time.

What a twenty-something panda can get away with, and what a thirty-year-old beached walrus can accomplish, are two decidedly different things.

Is Pablo Sandoval overweight? No, he’s just nicely rounded-pleasantly plump.

No one is suggesting that Pablo was going to bloat up like a walrus, just because he has fought weight issues since he joined the Giants in 2008. That would be judgmental and clearly in bad taste.

Kind of like Pablo’s suggestion, delivered through his brother, that Sandoval had been disrespected.

For days now Giants fans have been insulted by the suggestion that disrespect was somehow involved in the decision to flee San Francisco. You see, many fans firmly believe that if it boils down to disrespect, then perhaps Pablo may want to avoid his mirror for a minute or two, or five years, whichever applies.

Pablo, like a teenage mutant Ninja turtle, is nicely rounded and cute as all get-out, but maybe not in as good of shape as a professional ball player might be… Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

These fans, while loving Pablo Sandoval for the charismatic, smiling, bubble gum-blowing, mohawked Venezuelan cheerleader that he is, could also not help wondering what he might have been like, were he in proper playing shape.  Proper playing shape would mean not having a stomach that prevented you from you from remaining on speaking terms with your feet. It’s hard to have a conversation with folks you can’t see. But who criticizes the star of the show, the one guy who always seems to come through when things look the bleakest? Answer: No one.

The best the Giants’ management could do, is squirm, shift one ankle behind the other, and then reverse the action, hoping no one would notice.

Not notice a beached walrus?

Have you ever heard the story of the “Emperor’s New Clothes?” The one where everyone sees the obvious, but no one wants to say anything, for fear of being scorned? Like ignoring Pablo’s weight, because he was such a great Giant?

Apparently Brian Sabean HAS heard the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes; how else do you explain that Pablo is now a member of the Red Sawks, instead of the Giants?

Love him now; love him as a member of the Boston Red Sox. Beats the living daylights out of seeing him in a San Diego Padres uniform for the next five years.