GREAT NEWS – BOCHY’S RIGHT HANDED LINEUP SPECIAL WORKS!

Fantastic news guys. All these fancy do-da’s that Bruce Bochy looks at to determine his lineup is clearly working. Two games in a row versus a left handed starter, two incredibly stupid “right handed heavy” lineups and how many runs have we put on the board through 18 innings? No, go on – you guess. No you! NO YOU!

ZERO!

WOOOOOO! WOOOOO! *bells ring, whistles blow, fireworks pop*

I commend Bochy for benching Brandon Belt against left handers. Seriously, it’s a fantastic move. It’s not like he hit a home run off of a lefty specialist who’d never gave up a dinger to a left handed batter in 80 career innings the other day or anything. And it’s not like he’s 6 of 20 versus left handers this year….

I commend Bochy for benching Pablo Sandoval (who admitted he could swing left handed, but not right but was told no by Bochy when he requested to be in the lineup) in favor of Mark DeRosa, because hey, I don’t want a crappy .290 batter versus left handed pitching in there. Nah, I want a guy with FIVE at-bat’s since MAY. I mean, if you must get DeRosa in there, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to put DeRosa at short and Pablo at third – you know, considering Tejada’s PREMIER defense, AMIRITE?

I commend Bochy for playing a guy with a .281 OBP as the leadoff hitter. It’s mad genius type shit.

What can you say?! Just another ol tip of the cap.

*gag me*

Listen – lose with your best team. That’s all I ask. Is it too much? Apparently so. I understand injuries are an issue right now, but there’s no logical reasoning behind these bingo inspired lineups.

Bochy clearly feels that the more he attempts to mix and match his lineups, he’ll eventually strike gold on a “hot” grouping. It’s nearing the end of August, Skip. No, no, you wont. Put your best team on the field and leave it. Lose with it if you must. But the constant yo-yo’ing of lineup changes, the consistent re-ordering of the starters – these guys can’t get comfortable and they come to the park not knowing if they’ll play today or for another five days. Resting a guy is fine. Platooning a below average player with a bad player is stupid.

Roster your best squad. Write that lineup. Stick with it. All these space cadet lineup cards are insane.

Houston is 41 and 84. I’ll repeat that for those of us who struggled in math. 41 and 84. And that’s the performance you give us, pitchers and Pablo exempt.

Take a bow. Impressive.