SF Giants News

Giants Awarded Cody Ross – Celebrate With Epic Fail

By Bryan Rose
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First things first – the Giants were awarded their waiver claim on former Marlins outfielder, Cody Ross.

The move was simply nothing more than a block on the Padres and/or Phillies, making sure those fellow playoff contenders (PLAYLOLFFS?) wouldn’t be able to snag the free powerful (I guess?) outfield bat.

In my humble but incredibly awesome opinion, it was a bit odd of a block anyway – it’s not as if Ross had been lighting up the world for the Fish down in Miami. Sure, he’s got a bit of pop – but he’s pretty much average anywhere else. Ross has 100 strikeouts in 111 games this year and could only manage a .315 on base percentage, so – ah fuck it – who am I kidding. With numbers like that, he fits in perfectly for the G-men.

Speaking of fitting in – that’s the other problem. Where exactly is Ross going to play and how does it alter the current roster? Well sweetcheeks, I’m glad you asked.

The two scenario’s that come to my mind are either flipping Ross to a team in need, say like, Boston? And if that doesn’t happen, somebody like Schierholtz
or Rowand (okay, I’m wishing…get lost and let me dream) will find a lightly colored pink slip in their locker soon.

Of course, neither of those things will happen – a phantom DL stint will come a callin’ until somebody picks up Sabean from his week long fantasy football draft.

So there you have it. You’re a proud new owner of Cody Ross. Excited yet?! Woooo baby.

As for the game, well, I think it explained the road trip quite well. The Giants, somehow, had a chance to leave the Arch with a 3-3 roadie, yet, failed and failed miserably. Jamie Garcia absolutely clusterfucked the Giants all day, throwing a complete game on only 89 pitches. Yes, you read that right. 89. I can count because I completed 8th grade algebra, so, suck on them apples.

I’m going to assume you know enough about this roster and this offense to realize what type of result will partake when the opposing starting pitcher throws a complete game in 89 pitches. So, I wont tickle your baseball weenus anymore than need be.

The Padres continued their winning ways (as has everybody not named the Giants), an extended their lead over the Giants to six games (seven in the loss column). The G-men also fell two behind the Cardinals and Phillies for the Wild Card slot.

With the Reds in town, things wont get any easier for the slumping Giants – so here is hopes to a winning record come the National League West filled September schedule.

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