Giants Lose In Heartbreaking Fashion

Amazing. Simply, amazing. The Giants are just….there are no words.

The offense was absolutely horrific all day until the 8th inning when some breaks went their way. After an extremely odd lead-off homer from Nate Schierholtz (which at first looked like a pop fly) gave the Giants their first run of the game, Andres Torres (who was the next batter) drilled a potential double down the right field line that somehow turned into an inside the park homerun. If you could have que’d up some Benny Hill music for the Rockies defense on the play – it would have been perfect. It was the first time since 1966 that the Giants hit back-to-back homeruns with one of them being an inside the parker. The last duo to do so were Mays and McCovey. You might have heard of them once or twice….

A Buster Posey single followed by a Travis Ishikawa single tied the game at 3-3. The smart thing to do would have been to stop watching after that – but hey – I’m a gluten for punishment. After all, Giants baseball. It is in fact, torture.

The Rockies had about four consecutive innings where a base hit/walk/wild pitch/sac fly would have won the game. Don’t ask me how, but, the Giants continually got out of it. The pen did their normal tight rope act walking batters and reaching three ball counts with nearly every Rockie they faced. So, I’ve yet to come to terms with the Giants actually doing a good job of getting out of those situations or if it was the Rockies shitting their collective baseball pants. I’m going to lean more towards the pants shitting.

In the top of the 13th, Aubrey Huff lead off with a single which again, thanks to the lovely defense of the Rockies turned into a triple. A lead off triple. HA! This is going to be soooooooo easy, right? Yea, right. They are the Giants after all.

Bochy called up Pat Burrell to pinch hit for Chris Ray (who threw terrific, btw) needing only a sacrifice fly. Pat struck out on three or four pitches, looking dreadfully foolish on each attempt. It was a thing of legend. Aaron Rowand was envious. And yes, Burrell was the last bench player the Giants had. Next batter? Well, that would be Eli Whiteside. Whiteside was in the game for, well, actually nobody knows. Back in the 8th when Buster Posey singled, Whiteside was subbed in as a pinch runner and replaced Posey in the game. I’m pretty sure nobody in their right mind understands why, well, other than Mr. Bochy. But as we all are aware, he’s definitely not in his right mind. Anyway, Whiteside didn’t fair much better than Pat the Bat, also striking out. Juan Uribe was intentionally walked and Edgar Renteria proceeded to ground out to shortstop, adding to his now 0-6 day. So yes, the Giants blew a lead off triple. They couldn’t even get the go-ahead run in. How very Gianty of them.

So let us move to the bottom of the 13th – cause you just knew this was going to end bad. Right? Well, it tried. Brian Wilson was brought it and promptly loaded the bases to celebrate his All-Star selection. With Todd Helton at the plate, Wilson threw a yuck-a-doo fastball on the outside corner on a 3-2, 2 out pitch…freezing the Giant killer and miraculously Houdini-ing the Giants into the 14th. Well, the Giant fans that were still alive. I’m sure most either had a heart attack or their asses have long been puckered and they’re at the ER getting that situation resolved.

After an uneventful top of the 14th (of course…), the Rockies got their lead off man in the bottom half thanks to a….take a guess my little butterflies……….YES! A WALK!!! (this one courtesy of Mota). A walk from the bullpen. Hot effin shit. Never seen that before! A few moments later, Seth Smith (who was the recipient of the walk) proceeded to steal second and a poor throw/half-ass swipe attempt allowed the ball to trickle into center field, allowing him to prance down to third. After the Giants walked the bases loaded, Clint Barmes proceeded to strike out leaving it up to Miguel Olivo. Olvio promptly hit a shallow sac fly to win the game which Andres Torres grabbed and gunned a one and a half hop throw to home where the Giants tagged out Seth Smith by about five feet. A double play. You couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. To the top of the 15th we go…

So, should I give you a guess of what happens here? A walk you say? Actually, no. But close. After Mota went to a full 3-2 with Dexter Fowler, the recently recalled outfielder tripled to lead off the inning making the 17th time he’d been on base in this four game series. Yes, you read that right. 17th time in 4 games. After two walks to re-load the bases, again, the Giants weren’t so lucky as Todd Helton redeemed himself and did what the Giants were continually unable to do – knock in the winning run with a sacrifice fly.

An absolutely devastating loss for the Giants.

They’ll hop a plane and play again in about18 hours. Lucky them.

I need a razor cigarette. And I don’t smoke.