Avoiding Puns With Mike Kickham Stats And Video

By Stuart Jones

Mike Kickham will get the start for the Giants tonight, and you can read more about his call-up here, and you can view a twelve minute video of him pitching if you want that I found on the internet below:

If you were satisfied with watching a couple minutes of that, then we are very alike. I was hoping there would be something to GIF, but it appears that will have to wait for when he’s sporting that #59 Giants uniform later tonight. As we all wait, extremely anxious and excited to see what was sitting in our farm system, we can look at some of his minor league stats, which may or may not matter.

February 20, 2013; Scottsdale, AZ, USA; San Francisco Giants pitcher Michael Kickham (84) poses for a picture during photo day at Scottsdale Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

As you’ll see in the stats below as well, you think of the old and tired saying, “April showers bring May flowers,” as in April the lefty struggled, but all that may have brought about the necessary adjustments to do well in May. His worst work also came away from Fresno when he was struggling to go more than five innings.

Kind of an interesting stat is the “younger batters” an “older batters,” with only 42 PA coming against those crazy kids with their phones and their gadgets while Kickham did fine against all those players sitting in their rockers asking, “what’s a ‘WiFi’?” Ah, those silly older batters. Nobody should be expecting the world out of Kickham, anything he does tonight will be a small sample size in his time in the majors, and first game jitters would be more than understandable from the kid. I say “kid” even though he’s eight months younger than Madison Bumgarner, but really, who is Bumgarner not older than? No. Stop listing players. No. No! What have I done.

Also something to watch out for are all the puns involving Kickham’s last name. I will spare the audience here because after reading all this gloopity glop as I’d rather not… *puts on sunglasses*… kickham while they’re done.