SF Giants News

You can has the All Star Game, two! (“Bingo!” edition)

By Stuart Jones

I think this will take you to the fancy promotion of “All Star Game Bingo” where depending on certain things happening, a spot on your bingo card gets marked off. Don’t know how to play bingo? Ask your nearest human being. Grand Prize is a trip to the 2012 World Series or something, and 1st prize (1,000 of them) is a free day of MLB.TV, so you’re obviously playing for the free WS trip. Here’s one of the cards I got:

Look at this garbage! “Matt Kemp: Hit?” He’s not playing, you jerks! Where’s the “Adrian Beltre head rub” or “Buster Posey ain’t havin’ it???” Horrible, just horrible. I could still get many other bingos though. However, the above bingo card keeps track on its own, and if you hate the All Star Game because of this and that, and the one I made makes you pay attention to the subtleties of the game. I introduce to you, the better bingo card! If these things get mentioned or happen (like a Tim McCarver gaffe, which is bound to happen), mark it off using one part of a three-hole puncher (fun AND challenging!). Five in a row as you know, gets “Bingo!” but a blackout means this game was probably more boring than usual!

If you’re one of the first ten people to win, please contact Bryan Rosa (senior editor of Around the Foghorn) to claim your prize (this creates suspense because I don’t think there is a prize), but shhhh don’t tell him about this until it happens! He’ll love it! And this will see if he reads my stuff — tee hee!