SF Giants News

A Tale of Two Pitchers: Giants 1, Phillies 0

By Melissa Felkins

This is a story of two pitchers Matt Cain and Cliff Lee. Here are excerpts from their conversation.

Third Inning:
Cliff Lee: I got three outs on nine pitches, all strikeouts.
Matt Cain: Beat that five pitches and I’m sitting on the bench.

Bottom of Fourth Inning / Top of Fifth Inning:
Matt Cain: I allowed the first batter to reach first base and then I retired the next three.
Cliff Lee: I allowed the first batter to reach second base and then I retired the next three.

Bottom of the Sixth Inning:
Matt Cain & Cliff Lee: Dodgers lost in extra innings to the Brewers. Hahaha.

Seventh Inning:
Matt Cain: Brandon Crawford, I love you. Bad Panda, don’t hurt Brandon.
Cliff Lee: You hear that 71 pitches for the whole game!

Eighth Inning:
Umpire: We may have to decide this game with Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizards, Spock.

Ninth Inning:
Matt Cain: WTF Bochy! I only have 90 pitches. Let me get the W.
Bruce Bochy: We might have a chance to win with a pinch hitter.
Cliff Lee (as Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons): Ha ha!

Eleventh Inning:
Sergio Romo: Oh Crap! Thank you Javier Lopez & Clay Hensley!
Cliff Lee: NOOOOO! I deserve this win! Don’t take me out Skip!
Charley Manuel: Sorry Lee. Can’t keep you in through the 20th inning.
All the Phillies: Cabrera! UGH!

Some advice for all you hitters (except Melky Cabrera & Brandon Belt) in this game to figure out your average before and after the game. Take your beginning average and subtract 0.100 and that’ll be your new average.