SF Giants News

Giants Acquire Bruce Lee?

By Melissa Felkins

I’m sure that headline confuses you on a lot of levels. Maybe this will clear it up for you.

This is Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee is a hawk. Bruce Lee’s mission, should he choose to accept it, is to keep those damn food-snatching, rats of the air, dirty seagulls at bay, literally. If you’ve ever been to a Giants game, particularly at night, you have probably seen these little Voldermorts flying around. If you’ve been so lucky to have some garlic fries and even a little bit of space around you, there is a good chance they’ve paid you a visit. Even more likely would be while people are clearing out of the stadium. That’s when they really dive in and let me tell you, it’s not pretty. Or fun. It’s a problem and the Giants have decided to do something about it.

At least that’s one decision that will be easy for them prior to deciding the Opening Day Roster and figuring out how to sign Matt Cain. Maybe Bruce Lee can take care of those things while he’s at it.