SF Giants News

Giants Keep Fontenot, Lose Whiteside And Uh, Beltran To Rockies?

By Bryan Rose

In the rare chance that you don’t eat and sleep Giants baseball (and who are we kidding, you TOTALLY do) – then you’d probably need me to tell you that the Giants opted to keep everybody’s favorite mini-me infielder Mike Fontenot over the durty durty’s Jeff Keppinger last night, who was not tendered a contract by the Giants.

Fontenot, given his left handed stick and ability to play shortstop was deemed of more importance to the orange and black – one argument I can’t find any issue with. In addition to Keppinger, the MLB’s best brillo pad Eli Whiteside was also let go, though, I’d suspect that if Whiteside doesn’t get another offer (HA) he’ll most likely return to the Giants on a minor league deal and spend time in Fresno.

The Fontenot signing (which was well received by the fanbase) left Giant fans with a good feeling in their baseball stomach as they headed off to bed – but that feeling turned sour when they woke up to find out that Colorado Rockies were in serious talks with……….Carlos Beltran.

Losing Carlos Beltran is tough enough. Losing Carlos Beltran to the Rockies would be about the same as walking in on your significant other, rooting for Matt Kemp and the Dodgers while eating a Dodger dog, right after making out with their autographed Tommy LaSorda lifesize cardboard cut-out.

In fairness, watching Carlos Beltran patrol the massive outfield of Coors would be stuff comic’s only dream of coming up with – but I’m sure those laughs would turn into a few broken TV screens once Beltran clubs his way to a .324/31/105 battling line, 29 of those homeruns at the hands of the Giants – 28 of which will win games.

I’m sorry – I’m just not ready for inning 19, where after the Giants get an insanely lucky grand slam from Brandon Crawford to take a four run lead at Coors, before Carlos Beltran hits a walk off inside the park grand slam after Angel Pagan trips on a gopher hole and Aubrey Huff throws the ball into the third base stands in attempts to back him up.

You know it’s going to happen. Just get prepared.