SF Giants News

Things Better Than Miguel Tejada

By Bryan Rose
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  • Hemorrhoids
  • Crabs (the kind that pinch)
  • Crabs (the kind that pinch, in other places)
  • Herpes
  • Gas prices
  • Credit card interest rates
  • Battery acid
  • E-mail’s addressed to MR. INSERT NAME HERE MY NAME IS NIROBIA FROM KENYA AND I HAVE WILLED YOU 500000 POUNDS
  • Aaron Rowand
  • Aaron Rowand swinging at a slider
  • Running out of printer ink when you have five minutes to spare…
  • Dodgers
  • Waiting for an important fax – only to receive a blank white page
  • Aaron Rowand
  • Taking a ride on this bus:
  • Autotune
  • Realizing you just swallowed a bug
  • Barry Zito
  • Wet spots. Any wet spot. Where did it come from? What is it? Nevermind, I don’t want to know.
  • A wet spot from Barry Zito
  • Your drunk friend thinking it’s funny to call you at 3 AM. Four times.
  • Bochy’s Magic 8ball LOLineups
  • Aaron Rowand leading off

Go away, Miguel. Far, far away.

Seriously. Please. Before I harm myself. Do it for the children.

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